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It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini
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It's Kind of a Funny Story Quotes Showing 241-270 of 331

"Now put down only what you actually had to do in the event." "What I had to do?" "Right. Because there are no such things as shoulds and woulds in the universe." "There aren't?" I'm starting to suspect Keith a bit. For someone in Anxiety Management, he's giving me an exercise that is fairly confusing and anxiety-provoking. "No," he says. "There are only things that could have turned out differently. You don't have any shoulds or woulds in your life, see? You only have things that could have gone a different way." "Ah." "You never know what truly would have happened if you had done your shoulds and woulds. Your life might have turned out worse, isn't that possible?" "I don't see how it's really possible, seeing as I'm on the phone with you."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"When I was a kid I read these books, the Redwall books, fantasy books about a bunch of warrior mice, and the mice had this war cry that I always thought was cool: "Eulalia." And like an idiot, that's what I yelled off the Brooklyn Bridge: Eulaliaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"ARE THOSE FRIGHTENING THINGS THAT APPEAR WHEN WE TAKE OUR MIND OFF OUR GOALS; DREAMS ARE ONLY DREAMS UNTIL YOU WAKE UP AND MAKE THEM REAL; THINGS I HAVE TO DO TODAY: 1) BREATHE IN 2) BREATHE OUT."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"A person's relationship with food is one of their most important relationships. I don't think your relationship with your parents is that important. Some people never know their parents. I don't think your relationships with your friends are important. But your relationship with air—that's key. You can't break up with air. You're kind of stuck together. Only slightly less crucial is water. And then food. You can't be dropping food to hang with someone else. You need to strike up an agreement with it."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"They're sort of ancillary anyway, friends. I mean, they're important— everybody knows that; the TV tells you so—but they come and go. You lose one friend, you pick up another. All you have to do is talk to people, and this was back when I could talk to anybody."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"People are screwed up in this world. I'd rather be with someone screwed up and open about it than somebody perfect and…you know…ready to explode."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"This is another trick of shrinks. They never let you stop in midthought. If you open your mouth, they want to know exactly what you had the intention of saying. The party line is that some of the most profound truths about us are things that we stop saying in the middle, but I think they do it to make us feel important. One thing's for sure: no one else in life says to me, "Wait, Craig, what were you going to say?"
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"People are screwed up in this world. I'd rather be with someone screwed up and open about it"
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"You have to be the prude or the slut, and if you pick one, other people hate you for it, and you can't trust anyone anymore, because they're all after the same thing, and you see that you can never go back to how it was before..."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"Well, there are lot of people who make a lot of money off the fifth- and sixth-life crises. All of a sudden they have a ton of consumers scared out of their minds and willing to buy facial cream, designer jeans, SAT test prep courses, condoms, cars, scooters, self-help books, watches, wallets, stocks, whatever…all the crap that the twenty-somethings used to buy, they now have the ten-somethings buying. They doubled their market!"
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"I'm going to do it tonight. This is such a farce, this whole thing. I thought I was better and I'm not better. I tried to get stable and I can't get stable. I tried to turn the corner and there aren't any corners; I can't eat; I can't sleep; I'm just wasting resources."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"There's something about people who are the same age. It's like you got piped out in the same shipment. You've got to stick together."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"What were you tring to do, soldier?
I was trying to eat, sir!
And what happened?
I got caught thinking about some crap, sir!
What kind of crap?
How I want to live less than my parent's dog."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"When we got together we would start projects: an alarm clock torn apart and distributed over a wall, a stop-motion video of Lego people having sex, a Web site for pictures of toilets."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"We look into each other's eyes as we shake. His are still full of death and horror, but in them I see my face reflected, and inside my tiny eyes inside his, I think I see some hope."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"The sweating is awful. It's not as bad as the not eating, but it's weird—cold sweat, all over my forehead, having to be wiped off every two minutes, smelling like skin concentrate. People notice. It's one of the few things people notice."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"Yes. Now, you might not want to become so friendly with your fellow patients on the floor." "Why not?" "That can distract people from the healing process." "How?" "This is a hospital. It's not a place to make friends. Friends are wonderful, but this place is about you and making you feel better." "But…" I fidget. "I respect Humble. I respect Bobby. I have more respect for them after a day and a half than I do for most people…in the world, really." "Just be careful of forming close relationships, Craig. Focus on yourself."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"Jimmy may have only a few sentences in his repertoire, but he knows to keep going when pretty girls pay attention to him."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"There's so much more for me to be doing. I should be a success and I'm not and other people—younger people— are. Younger people than me are on TV and getting paid and winning scholarships and getting their lives in order. I'm still a nobody. When am I going to not be a nobody?"
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"Is that the truth, Jimmy?" I ask without looking at him. "It's the truth, and it come to ya!" I smile."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"We look into each other's eyes as we shake hands. His are full of death and horror, but in them I see my face reflected, and inside my tiny eyes inside his, I think I see some hope."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"I used to like the foods that come in abstract shapes: chicken nuggets, Fruit Roll-Ups, hot dogs."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"Let's concentrate on our discussion of things that make us happy, Humble," says the psychologist."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"And I know about psychologists, when they're writing down what you're saying they're really writing down how much money they're going to get when they sell their latest yacht, because they're all yuppies with no respect.…"
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"I didn't go to sleep until four, but I was in some one else's house, so I woke up early—at eight—with that crazy sleeping-at-someone-else's-house energy."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

"You don't want any of your Anchors being members of the opposite sex you're attracted to," Dr. Minerva says. "Relationships change even more than people. It's like two people changing. It's exponentially more volatile. Especially two teenagers."
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

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